December 8, 2010
Shards of Blue and Yellow
November 18, 2010
Comfortably Numb
I don’t like him much. He’s staring at me. Can’t people get a little privacy around here? It’s not like I chose to share my grief with the whole world. They are making me sit out here. Sorry if my tears are ruining your perfect day. I can’t control them. Yeah, that’s right, look away. It should be unnerving watching a stranger cry. Took you long enough to figure that out. I hope the rest of your day sucks because mine will. I was having a great day, I bet you were too. Now it’s been ruined, all because…
November 7, 2010
Easy
Easy is how I like my eggs. Over easy.
Easy is what I think of when i think of Staples. That was easy.
Easy is how I think of 2nd grade math homework.
Easy is not how I think of losing a friend.
It is not the first word to come to mind when a relationship is crumbling.
Easy soon after becomes hard. Very hard.
It becomes an evil word.
Wouldn't it "just be easier". NO i want to scream.
No it wont be easier.
It may be less stressful. It may make things 'go away'
It may be "easier" in the short term. But in the long term it becomes hard.
How dare you ask me if I want the easy way out.
I'm not a wimp, I'm stronger then that. I can handle it.
You can handle it.
We will fix this.
We will stand strong.
United we stand, divided we fall.
November 4, 2010
I Am You
October 30, 2010
Brian Part 1
October 25, 2010
Tina in Leaves
October 25th
October 15, 2010
Time is of the Essence
Prompt: Write about someone with a pathetic life.
I'm walking. Walking to work. Know why? Because I don't have a car. But that doesn't really matter, I haven't had a car in over a year. I usually ride my bike to work. My colleagues praise me for it. Say I'm so awesome for "going green". Truth is...I'm not green. If I could I'd buy one of those awesome gas guzzling trucks to strut my stuff in. But I just nod, accept their praises. Who wants to hear about an old sop whose car got repossessed, no one, that's who. But now I don't even have a bike. I parked it on the curb this morning, id forgotten my lunch inside. I ran back in and grabbed it off the counter. Came out and what did I see? My bike, in the iron jaws of a garbage truck. I didn't even know it was trash day. How does one forget trash day. I had a whole barrel of trash, sitting where my bike usually does in the garage. Ironic huh. But I had my lunch, no car, no bike, so i started walking. So now I'll just be a well fed guy walking to work, rather than a starving guy biking to work. That's just wonderful. Walking makes me hungry. I figure I can eat my sandwich now, save the rest of the stuff in the bag for lunch. But its soggy. Why is it soggy. The soda cap came off. great. Now I'll be the super green guy on a diet. Oh how the office will love me. I just had to go back and get that lunch didn't I. They aren't kidding when they say time is of the essence.
September 14, 2010
Just a Thought to Hold you Over
You know, when I was younger I had a pretty skewed view of some things in this world. Like how much money was worth, how “hard” my school work was, but I also viewed relationships differently. Can you believe that I always thought it was the girl who was hurt after a break up. I never really thought about how the guy was feeling. In movies and books it always showed the girl running home, eating a tub of ice cream, and crying to all her friends. Guys were tough, guys didn’t care, they had other girls lined up. Well i’ve learned how wrong I was. I’ve met so many sensitive guys. In befriending these guys I now see their side, rather than only the girls side. I see their sadness after a breakup. Sure they might not be so forthright with their sadness, and many prefer to hide within themselves and not talk to anyone, but the pain is evident. Did you know seeing a guy sad is one of the saddest things i’ve seen. I think its because we’ve become so oversensitized to the sight of a girl crying, but since guys hide it, it strikes a chord in your heart that isn’t often struck. So in learning this one day I also learned that maybe I had to rethink some things, and you’d never believe how much bigger the world is when your mind is open to all the possibilities.
ps. new creative writing stories should be coming up
September 9, 2010
Welcome to Chilly Billy's
September 4, 2010
Untitled...
My mom and dad are sitting out on the rocks right now. Its cute. They are just sitting next to each other staring into the distance.
I have a text message waiting for a response, it keeps blinking at me. But you know...i really have no answer for it. I have no real feeling to put into it and I dont want to force an answer, I dont want to reply with some fake interest or happiness. But if i dont reply the recipient will wonder why. they will over think it more then they probably do over think my answers. Funny how we get caught in these situations where to be kind, to be socially accepted, we have to be fake. Because yes, i will answer it. and they will be happy, and i will still feel nothing.
My coloring book is sitting next to me. It has a half colored bunny on the page. It will probably remain half finished for a while. Just like many things in life. I cant count on one hand how many things I have that are unfinished. For some thats a good thing, for some its expected, for some its never ending and i hate it. When you can finally complete something, Tie up loose ends, And put it behind you, thats when it feels good. when you've put together another puzzle piece of your life.
well i have to go rescue my cousin...out of a situation he got himself into. so yeah...i guess thats the end. the end of the beginning. no its just the middle. its another never ending thing. this succession of blog posts. and its one i am okay with.
August 16, 2010
Its a Word Train
July 20, 2010
Just Look...Up
Have you ever looked up, out of curiosity. Not because you heard something, or because someone pointed. But just because? Have you ever looked up and wondered not only what's beyond the great expanse of sky but about what's right in front of your eyes?
I have, and I do. Not a day goes by in my life where I don't stop and just...look up. Whether it be the clouds, the birds, an airplane, or the moon, there is always something to admire. Something you can see as steadfast. The sky will always be there giving you something more to see everyday, no matter how life is going at the moment.
So, when life has you down, or even if you happen to have a moment to yourself, just look…up.
June 3, 2010
Crash Diets
Am I allowed to ask why.
Am I allowed to think I'm wrong
That maybe just maybe I'm overreacting
That maybe its a slight oversight
You’re not avoiding or ignoring
merely just haven’t gotten to anything yet.
You know how people go on crash diets
They never eat
Then eat everything when the diet ends
And gain back everything
Then the people who eat small steady meals
Are the ones who benefit.
I’m thinking of this in the same way.
You’ve put me on a crash diet
Its not helping.
I know you will be leaving
I know you think thats hard
But do you think this isnt
I dont quit cold turkey
Its not how i work
Never has been
Never will be
June 2, 2010
Perspective
Perspective is a funny thing. It can change drastically. It can change rapidly. It can change things in ways you never imagined. It can be as simple as wearing only one contact (which Tina is quite the pro at doing) which changes your perspective in terms of depth perception. Or it can be as complicated as if you put yourself in someone else's shoes, looking through someone else’s eyes, and seeing a whole new world of possibilities. You can think, feel, and experience things you’ve never thought to explore before.
A few nights ago surrounded by the “neighborhood gang” I sat back. I was observing. I was viewing the group as an outsider. Simply because I wanted a different perspective. I wanted to see what we would look like to someone who wasn't part of our group. Its then I was able to group, categorize, and form views about each person. A group of guys sat to the side talking about various topics. Such as sports, guys at school, music, etc. Two girls sat on the other side texting their friends. They giggled, laughed, and held side conversations. In the middle sat a boy and a girl. They talked about their strengths and weaknesses. It went deeper than the boys on the side. Then in the middle was me and another guy. Even as I watched, I observed myself, and my “group”. We talked about books, college, writing, music. Then throughout the night I zoned in specifically on the individuals. I found those who were also watching, watching certain people, thinking themselves unnoticed. I found the one who wanted to involve everyone in a conversation. I found the one who floated between all groups, easing tensions, making people laugh. Fitting everywhere yet not really feeling at home. Its all very intriguing to me. And just taking the perspective of an outsider gave me the ability to really get to know my friends. It gave me a chance to see who they were when they weren't trying to be someone for everyone around them. Who they were while they thought no one else was watching.
Another perspective that has changed for me is my view on life, on how I spend my free time, on what “busy” is. Some (or all) of you may know that I haven't had internet for almost 2 weeks. At first it was disheartening. However would I survive without my many vices such as Email, Facebook, Flickr, Formspring, etc etc. The list can go on and on and on. But then slowly, as the days passed, I realized that after a quick 2 min check in at a Panera, or using a siblings computer, I was fine leaving it behind. Sure I miss the fb chat with my friends who i don't talk to in other ways of communication. I miss being inspired by pictures on Flickr. But its not unbearable. I read 5 books. I am beasting at Solitaire. I cleaned my room. I did things that needed to be done. I had been complaining about how busy I was when in fact I wasn't as busy as I could have been. Just the computer was taking over my life. I would log on when I woke up, keep it up whenever I was home, then be on it all night til i felt tired. these past 2 weeks I experienced the true meaning of busy. The first week I babysat EVERY day. It was intense. Sometimes with more than one job a day. Then every day this week I’ve been renovating my sister’s and soon to be brother in laws condo with my sister. Its hard manual labor and I'm enjoying waking up and going to do something productive!
So although I am waiting for it to be returned. I think I'm a bit changed from this experience in perspective. I learned what my priorities are in life. I've learned with a clean dose of perspective that maybe a life lived on technology isn't the healthiest thing for you. So if you are reading this right now and you've been on the computer all day I urge you to go read a book, take a walk, find some friends and have face to face contact. Trust me. Its enjoyable and you don't want to get to the state where it becomes a foreign territory.
Perspective can be a funny thing sometimes. You never know what it will show you. Maybe it will just give you another viewpoint to see what's right under your nose.
May 12, 2010
Writings of A Melancholy Heart
You Need Only Accept It
April 13, 2010
Roman Fever Rewrite
March 31, 2010
If I Were A Duck
If I were a duck,
I would soar through the sky,
I would splash in the puddles,
I would quack at the humans,
I would feel at home in the rain.
If I were a duck,
I would eat all the bread crumbs,
I would preen my feathers smooth,
I would cuddle in my nest,
I would feel at home in the rain.
If I were a duck,
I’d have no care of money,
Nor of time.
I’d have no care of clothing,
nor of personal hygiene.
I’d be carefree,
I’d be happy.
I would feel at home in the rain
I wrote this because of all the rain we’ve been having. I wrote it while in physics class actually. As we talked about intercepting wave patterns. Yep…good lecture :) haha. I needed a new blog post and this makes me laugh so enjoy your day :D
March 1, 2010
365 Challenge
I’ve been absent. I know. I apologize. Its been busy. Very busy. I’ve got school. Coming up on midterms. I’ve got babysitting. Gotta save that money for Norway this summer. I’ve got wedding planning. Only a few months til June. I’ve got funerals. Two in two weeks. (oh and my fish just died but we didnt have a funeral for him). I have also been doing this thing called The Flickr 365 Challenge though. The point of this challenge is to grow as a photographer. You take a picture a day. Not just going out and taking a picture of whatever you happen upon but kind of planning it. So I should put more thought into this. If I can take a picture a day that is usually thought out, then write a description I should be able to write a few paragraphs for you guys. But if you are feeling Kay-withdrawal because I'm not keeping up with this and you want to see something from me then you can always head over to my Flickr page. www.flickr.com/photos/kaywalker I'm only on day 17 so feel free to catch up :)
So guess what I love. Sun, spring, wind. Today was one of those sunny windy, reminds you of what spring is days. I took Tina out and we made our rounds at Brooksvale. The wind was a bit chilly at times but 659 pictures later we were more then satisfied. We headed out to a wake then to Chili’s for dinner. Now I have to sit through all these pictures, see what’s good, what’s not. I think we may have a few stop motions in the works. Which, if i do, will be on Flickr or Facebook. If you have a care to see I could always inform you of those as well. I know this isnt an amazing blog entry or anything. But this is my way of bridging that gap between the last one and what will soon become, hopefully, a more steady stream of entries. Off to the pictures I go. Have a wonderful evening.
Oh and that guy who reminded me of my lackluster blogging that you should all be thanking and reading: Jacob the Awesomest Kid Ever
~Kay
January 19, 2010
Feels Good
Today is Tuesday which mean I have only 1 class. Physics. At 2pm. Til 3:15. Then maybe I will see some friends. Then I tutor Then delivering supper to a couple who just adopted 4 kids. Then perhaps some babysitting. Back to my busy days! :) And i am not sad about it, I am quite happy my days will be filed again. I've still got weekends. And apparently time enough to write in this blog haha. But once the homework, and tests, and projects start up I may not have as much, which is why you've gotten 3 recent entries. Because I dont know the rate they will be coming til about May.
Im like 2 hours early. Didnt really have to come til 2 for my class but i wanted to scope out parking so i came earlier. I see i may have some problems on Thursdays. I am supposed to babysit til 11, which means i would be getting here at 11:20ish depending on traffic. then i have a class at noon...sooooo seeing as how 11 is the hardest time to park...its gonna be interesting. But so far this year I have had great parking luck. Even today, with a completely full lot as the sign said, i had the luck of getting the 2nd spot in the second row. which is pretty impressive i must say :)
Well ima go browse me some Flickr now. New pictures of Tina are up. Im trying to take pictures every day to get into the habit of workin of my photog skills.
*Peace*Love*Photography* (courtesy of facebook flair)
Kay
January 18, 2010
What Now...?
Well the other day my sister and I were pretty bored after having skated on a pond for over an hour. So we called up some neighbors trying to find an adventure. And find an adventure we did! We went out to Lake Wintergreen to take pictures. Before we knew it we were actually traveling all the way across the lake. Walking across the ice was awesome and I got some beautiful shots. I was very pleased with how our adventure turned out. Here are a few shots from the day:
I wish I had more inspiration for photos, I mean I have ideas I just have troubles posing people. So Kyle is great and poses himself but other times I am kind of at a loss what to do. So the first new projects I will be doing is those with inanimate objects :)
Tomorrow is a day off school. Who knows what kind of adventure we may happen upon. I cant wait to see. And sorry for those of you who have a Facebook and hear repeats of stuff when I write it on here.
On another note I would just like everyone to know how proud I am of myself. Remember when I said I procrastinate about laundry? Well in the past 2 days I completely cleaned and organized my room, caught up on a good amount of laundry and actually hung and folded everything! I was so happy and my aim is to live 2010 a more organized person. I’ll keep you updated how far I get on that one…
Fact of the Kay for the Day: I love music boxes. Its a newly discovered love. I guess I always have been attracted to them but I was just listening to one the other day and with all its simplicity I could listen all day. :)
“What's the best day to tell someone horrible news?…Yesterday”
January 10, 2010
Hiatus
So I took a brief hiatus as you can see. It was crazy holiday time which meant insane babysitting and seeing friends and family and snowy days spent outside, etc etc. I just got a comment though on my blog which reminded me its been a while and i owe it to my few readers to keep up to date. So in the first line of business: I went to Poughkeepsie, New York this past week and it was so much fun! Great photo opp too. I took lots of pictures. They are on my fb or a few are on my flickr: www.flickr.com/photos/kaywalker. So check it out if you feel so inclined.
I am supposed to be heading to bed now…i have to be up early to go babysit. its an all dayer…does that work? you can say all nighter but how do you say it if i am doing it all day and “all day” is too boring or not in the right tense? Idk…oh well, i like to make up my own words, its good for the brain! haha. I am in a rambling mood, which is great, since I am writing a blog of course. Oh guess what, that other story I said i would upload…well i cant, cause i cant find it. I will try to remember most of it to share it with you guys, its shorter then the previous one though. Which will probably make some of you happy to hear.
I went ice skating yesterday. I wish I were better. Its the one place i cant stand kids, well maybe the one other cause i think i mentioned in my other post about a place I don't. anyways. they zoom in front of you and when you’re not an amazing skater that can be prettttty dangerous…for me, not them. My sister got yelled at for texting while on the ice haha. Just like driving, keep your eyes on the ice people!!
I wrote a poem for my friend today, its this cool thing we have going, where we write poems back and forth. Paste em on fb. I do it with a story too with my sis and Liz. Its fun, but 3 people is harder to keep track of then 2. Ok enough of the rambling, I need sleep.
As far as my parting remarks go I just want to say:
1. Thanks for continuing to read although these posts lack some inspiration sometimes.
2. I wish you the best for this new year, I hope we can all make it out alive! I sure do plan on it! Where there is a will there is a way! (wow lots of exclamations! haha)
3. Eat your meat! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat you meat??!! (Pink Floyd quote incase you didn't know)
4. A poem, for you:
Farewell for now,
Sending my love,
I take a final bow,
And fly away like a dove.~Kay~