I Am You

I wasnt in a depressed mood...but im trying to write out my nightmare. And every time i come away from that, i write something like this. im okay i promise.

            Kill me now.

The words echo through my head as if on a repeat track.

            Kill me. Do it now.

I don’t know where they come from. They invade. I can’t escape.

            Just do it. What are you waiting for?

I look down at the knife clutched in my hand. Unsure of how it got there.

            Clocks-a-tickin. You’re wasting time.

I glance at the clock. Its almost 9. I forget why that’s significant.

            They’re going to find you. Holding the knife.

So what? Maybe I want them to. Maybe that’s what I’m waiting for.

            No you aren’t. You don’t want them to take you back.

I don’t. They can never take me back.

            Don’t over think it. You want this. You want to escape.

I think we’re past that. I’m talking to a voice in my head. I’m over thinking.

            You’re just hearing the truth. You are hearing what you want.

Are you? Am I? What exactly am I doing with this knife?

            JUST DO IT. Before anyone can stop you.

I can’t. I can’t do it. I’m not ready. I don’t want this.

            Yes you are. Think of the relief. You’re waiting for it.

SHUT UP! I don’t need relief. I’m happy. I love my life.

            Oh yeah, happy, says the girl with tears welling up in her eyes.

They aren’t tears of sadness. It’s frustration. Can you just go away!

            I can’t go away…unless you go away. I am you.